– It has been a challenging week.
– I’m parenting as hard and as well as I know how.
– I had my ATOS assessment today with a nurse who will put together a report to send to the Department of Work and Pensions Decision Maker. He or she will then Decide (yes the capital letter fits) whether I can continue to receive Employment Support Allowance or whether I will have to jump back on the jobseeker hamster wheel of doom, when I don’t actually have time or energy for anything apart from my currently very vulnerable family.
– With it being a particularly difficult week, I looked pale, had shadows under my eyes and I had been crying before I got there. My hair needed washing and I was totally honest about how difficult I’m finding everything. I’m glad it is over now and I resolve to forget about the possible outcome for the next couple of weeks.
– I was also very honest with the tutors at college tonight. I now have extensions on a couple of assignments to take the pressure off, and I was so relieved that I wept all the way home.
– On the plus side, my Flylady routines are keeping the house, and me, reasonably organised. Meals are planned and tonight’s sausage casserole was particularly fine. I’ve taken out a free three month trial with Lovefilm which includes online streaming, and have a nice long list of dvds to rent and things to watch on the laptop.
I’m so tired. And counting my many blessings in between the tears!