Given that this morning I had to spend a lot of time persuading myself to get out of bed, and then decided the only way was to tackle the day five minutes at a time, I seem to have achieved more than I expected and feel more cheerful than I thought I would by this time in the evening!
GP appointment for One first thing – we have the most punctual GP in the entire world. He is always on time no matter what time of day we go, and though he is efficient with his appointments, he never makes you feel rushed or uncared for. Appointment was at 9.45 on the other side of town; I had her back at school at 10.00!
Went and hid under the duvet for a while, but found that very unsatisfactory as I took my brain with me, and it’s my brain that’s the problem today, so I got up again and decided keeping busy was a better plan. I was right.
Met a friend for a cuppa in Costa, had a good cathartic rant and a chat, and ingested a truly massive hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows. I’m not sure what did me more good – the chat or the hot chocolate! 40 minutes later I walked home feeling in a far better place than I had before I went.
Carried on keeping busy; the house is looking pretty good today! Made a shopping list, which this week was lovely and short. Collected Three from school; called in on Mum to collect Two and Three’s weekend bags; returned home and helped them unpack; ate some tealoaf; went to Tesco for the shopping (and essential chocolate supplies – I may be feeling a bit better but will still need chocolate to get through the evening I suspect!); fed everyone pie, mash, peas and gravy.
I am loving the fact that since I started outsourcing some of the chores for 20p and 40p, I haven’t washed up or dried up after a main meal! I’m letting go of some of my perfectionism and not minding that there is water all over the floor tonight (Three washed up) or that some of the items are getting put back in unexpected places! I don’t have to do it and that is very relaxing. It is also giving the children a bit more disposable income, so a win win situation!
I’m hoping very much I can sleep tonight. Last night was a bit of a disaster where sleep was concerned, in the end. And when I did sleep I had some exhausting dreams; thank you brain.
One day at a time, one step at a time, is all I have to do. There is an awful lot of good in my life; I’m focusing on that as much as I can.